


Writing Days

by JustNeyda



Category: Phandom
Genre: M/M, i cant write any happy ones right now because im sad, its a really sad story, so i will take my emotions out on writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 04:57:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4815863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustNeyda/pseuds/JustNeyda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil likes to write deep quotes in his journal all at once for days, and Dan lets him have his space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Writing Days

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope you enjoy the story, sorry if the quote doesn't really tie into the story.

_“That's the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as he sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.”_

Phil scribbled, crossed out, and rewrote multiple lines. He had been at it for a few hours. Dan sighed from the other side of the door. It wasn’t easy being the boyfriend of a guy who would lock himself in his room for days at a time, but Dan stood by him. Dan didn’t mind, and after some time he was used to the fact that Phil would just disappear for a few days.

Phil had had a very troubling childhood, he rarely spoke of it, and the days he did you could count on the fact that he was high off something. Phil could never speak his thoughts, but he could write them out. He would write long paragraphs talking about his inner thoughts, about his dreams, and sometimes about Dan. Dan only knew of this because Phil had accidentally left behind his journal when he went to “visit family”. Dan hadn’t meant to snoop, but if Phil had gone to get high for a few days then Dan was going to find out what Phil wrote about.

Phil’s writing was scattered everywhere, so it took Dan some time to read through some pages. Dan had the decency to not read the whole thing, but in a way those pages showed him more of Phil than Phil showed him. Dan didn't understand Phil too much so an insight to his thoughts made Dan wonder if he was actually helping or hurting Phil.

Today was a writing day. Dan knew from the moment he woke up and Phil wasn’t lying beside him. On writing days Phil would wake up earlier than usual and begin writing out thoughts. If it was a good writing day Phil would be out of his room by the following morning, if it was bad he would be in his room for three or four days. The worst writing day happened the week his sister had died. Phil’s sister was killed by a drunk driver who swerved out of his lane and crashing into Phil’s sisters car. Both cars swerved out the road and landed in a ditch, both killed instantly. Phil adored his younger sister, so when he was awoken at 2am by a police call, Phil was shattered. He locked himself in his room for over a week and a half. He would have stayed in their longer but he had to fly out to see his family and see his sisters resting place. Dan didn't hear Phil speak for over a month after that. The house fell silent during the day, and at night all that could be heard were Phils silent cries into Dan’s chest.

Writing days were hard. Sometimes Dan would check up on Phil by listening to the door and all he would hear from the other side was Phil crying. It hurt Dan to not be able to do much for Phil, as Phil would lock the door and wouldn’t answer to Dan’s calls. Sometimes Dan wondered if it was worth it all. Dan wondered why Phil had ever asked him out and why they had decided to move in together, and sometimes the house would be silent. Dan would lock himself in his room too and cry. He knew he was being selfish in many ways, sometimes he wanted to scream to Phil “I'M YOUR BOYFRIEND STOP SHUTTING ME OUT” but he knew better. He couldn't ever yell at Phil, Phil was delicate.

It turned out to be a good writing day, and by the following morning Dan woke up to Phil lying on his chest. Seeing Phil peaceful made Dan ease a bit. He held onto Phil tighter and breathed out a breathe he didn't know he was holding in.

Yeah writing days were hard, but it was the morning after that reminded Dan of what he was blessed with. And for that he was eternally grateful.


End file.
